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This research topic submitted by Jeffrey ( on 12/29/00.

well done--fine response by the fellow who is five four. Hot damn is all I can say to your term "incredulous glares"--it really bit home. by comparison I am 5'8"1/4--and believe me baby you've got to count those halves and even those quarters. your response obviously proves that your stature has urged you to expand your intelligence--a far worthier, a an incredibly more sustaining/retributive affair than sexual relationships
I find myself uncomfortable in a room where all women are wearing heels/plats/clogs--suddenly average height women seem to be at eye-level and those whom I might stare eye to eye in bare feet, seem to always be looking down at me--I think women in this age want stronger men because women are themselves stronger--women expect men to ignore so many biological differences so that they may enjoin so many of what might be called male professions, or the male world (a quickly eroding concept); ironically, younger women seem to want taller men because they demand a type of masculinity to offset their own acquired "cultural" masculinity. I think this desire comes even from wanting to feel feminine. Women need to feel feminine now more than ever--unfortanately strength/height is a type of immediate, ostensible index of a man's ability to wield force/to be the protector--and this is further ironic, because in an age where techonology has allowed so much of women's labor to stand on par with men's, we still seem to return to this very archaic model of manhood that says that male worth is being able to defend your home/ simply being able to kick another man's ass. This makes the concept of confidence some bit strange because confidence is not something men work out of our imaginations, not something which is the directly the result of our efforts in the arts/sciences/business/etc. Confidence is always relative--men aim to take it from one another from the get go--tall men have the advantage here because they can inadvertantly or intentionally make shorter men seem less effectual/important. I guess what I'm getting at here is that "confidence with women" is really a bogus concept--you're only truly confident when you've forgotten what trying to be confident is--a tall man gathers confidence in a room full of strangers not by his achievements/intellect but by the sheer fact taht he already "stands out" "head and shoulders above the rest." In this sense a man's confindence may depend upon just how many men he can make feel uneasy/ or less capable (I seem to imagine a branwny cowboy dusty from cattle herding in a saloon full of petite bankers with bifocals).

read John Irving--read especially The Water-Method Man--I'll not say it's a great book, but there is an interesting legend that John Irving seems to find psychologically soothing--I say this and not his character only because in other novels masculinity/heighth are always paired, but ironically--taller men are uncertain, ineffectual, appearing to have too much grace and too little heft (maybe heft should go in parentheses).

truly, i wish i could say you're wrong, but I can't; I'll stump the f*** out of you though: I think tall men sometimes feel like they have to live up to their height/ that somehow they are more ashamed if their height has not somehow equated to a type of success--in a sense a woman is part of this type of assumed "success" and thus, it appears that taller men actually NEED women more than shorter men to be happy--of course you could use Beethoven's life as an example to offset this argument, but even then genius and nereuses have almost gone hand in hand in Western History--and who knows, had he been taller maybe he would have just worked at a granary and married some plump woman and had cute kids--how boring--how ordinary. i know that my life is made that much more complex by being short, but i've learned to welcome that complexity and see it as responsible for not having me follow the quiet/uneventful ruts of married/cohabitational life

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